


Soul Decision

by redeem147



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 10:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeem147/pseuds/redeem147
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Speculation on Spike killing. Written after Conversations With Dead People.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soul Decision

Dawn turned the corner of the quiet street as she walked home alone. The basketball game had been fun, she had to admit, even if she had gone stag. She was beginning to despair that she too was infected by the Summers’ relationship curse that plagued her mother and older sister. A sudden chill, not related to the weather, made her wary, and she grasped the stake in her pocket tightly.

 

Her head snapped around at the sound of an aborted scream. In front of the little white bungalow, a woman hung loosely in the vampire’s grasp. Dawn was about to rush to her aid when the vamp pulled away, licking his gory lips. His eyes shone yellow in the porch light, and with a clenching feeling in her chest, Dawn turned and ran.

 

She had never really been afraid of Spike before.

 

 

Willow sat with her legs curled behind her on the couch, sipping her hot cocoa. “So, now you think he was lying?”

 

Buffy sorted the weapons in her chest for cleaning. “I think so. When I thought back over what I told him, well, he knew I dated a vampire. If he wanted to yank my chain, and believe me, he did, I think he would have picked up on anything I said. I mentioned Spike. If I said Sam, or Dave, or even Dracula, I think he would have said he sired him.”

 

“Makes sense.”

 

“Right.” Buffy ran the edge of the rag over the axe head, cleaning the green blood that clung there. “And what doesn’t make sense is souly Spike, barely talking Spike, going around siring vamps. Especially guys. Not his style.” She rubbed a little harder at a stubborn spot of hardened green. “And, chip, so I think, hey, lie.”

 

Willow stared into her mug. “And if it wasn’t a lie?”

 

Buffy didn’t answer. She looked down at the pile of stakes in the bottom of the chest.

 

The front door burst open, and Dawn rushed inside, slamming the door behind her. She leaned back against it, panting, trying to breathe.

 

“God, Dawn,” Willow said, putting her mug on the coffee table and approaching the girl, “What happened? See another ghost?”

 

“Spike’s killing again,” was all she could get out.

 

Buffy sat the axe on the floor and stood up, confronting her sister. “Who told you that?”

 

“No...nobody.” Dawn sucked the air in deep gasps, as she tried to form the words. “I saw him. Saw him kill a girl. Three doors down. Drained her, I think.” She stumbled across the room and landed on the couch. “I don’t think he saw me. The look on his face...Evil. He’s gone all evil again.”

 

Willow looked at her friend with concern. “What are you going to do, Buffy?”

 

The Slayer picked a sharp stake from the chest. “Deal with it.”

 

 

Buffy found the young woman on the front lawn, where Dawn had indicated. She was pale from blood loss, her body already starting to cool. There was blood on her mouth. Buffy knew she would be visiting her again later. As she turned back towards the driveway, she found a cigarette butt crushed into the pavement. His brand.

 

 

Her heart was in her throat as she entered the apartment building lobby. What if Spike had gotten home, still hungry. What if Xander... No. She wouldn’t borrow trouble. She pressed the buzzer, as Xander’s tinny “Hey,” issued from the intercom. Breathing a deep sigh of relief, she opened the door and headed up the stairs.

 

Xander looked ready for bed, his gray sweat pants and t-shirt already crumpled. “What’s wrong, Buff?” he asked, when he saw her face.

 

“Sorry if I got you up.” She looked around the apartment. “Is Spike here?”

 

“No, I wasn’t in bed, and yeah, he’s in his room. Why?” He looked down at her trembling fist. “Is that a stake in your hand, or are you just happy to see me?”

 

“How long has he been here?” she asked coldly.

 

“Just got in. Said he needed to stretch his legs.” Xander knocked on the door to the walk-in closet. “Hey, Spike. Company.”

 

The vampire opened the door. “Buffy?” His face was haggard, his eyes darkly ringed. He looked older than she remembered. “Is something the matter?”

 

“Yeah,” she replied, holding the point of the stake to his chest. “You’re feeding again. You killed a girl tonight.”

 

Spike looked down at the precarious state of his chest. “Thanks for the trust. And no, I haven’t. Chip, remember. And not really interested in human blood anymore, much.”

 

“You’re lying. Dawn saw you.” Buffy sniffed back the tears. She needed a clear head. “I don’t want to do this. I have to.”

 

“Buffy, I swear. I didn’t do it.”

 

“Wait, Buff.” Xander laid his hand on her shoulder. “Make sure. Spike may not be a model roommate, but he has started picking up the towels off the floor. And we had a little run-in earlier, when he found out I taped over Passions. Believe me, that chip still works.”

 

Buffy let the hand holding the stake drop to her side. “I want to believe...” Her face was a mask of conflicted emotion. “But Dawn was so sure. And Holden...”

 

“Look, I don’t know.” Xander gave her shoulder a squeeze. “But remember that thing Willow saw. Things aren’t always what they seem.”

 

“Willow.” Buffy nodded her head. “That’s what I’ll do.” She picked up the phone and dialed her home. “Hi, Will? Can you get over to Xander’s ASAP? Good.” She looked warily at Spike. “And bring some ingredient stuff. For a truth spell.”

 

 

“He’s telling the truth.” Willow picked the objects off the floor that lay in front of Spike’s chair. “As far as Spike knows, he hasn’t bitten, much less sired anyone for years.” She nodded to the dark haired woman standing behind Spike. “And thanks for the help, Anya. Not quite ready to go it alone.”

 

The former demon smiled. “Just glad I could help. So, should we do a truth spell on Dawn, now?”

 

“What?” Buffy stood with her arms crossed over her chest, staring throughout the ritual. “Dawn saw something. I’m sure of it. I’ll go over it again in the morning when she wakes up, but I’m sure she believes she saw Spike kill that woman.”

 

Xander shrugged. “So, where does that leave us? Evil doppelganger Spike? Cause I can relate to that. Or shape shifter posing as Spike? Spike lookalike vampire?” He pointed to his roommate. “Hey, Spike. You don’t happen to have a twin brother you never told us about, do you?”

 

Spike rubbed the space between his eyebrows with his fingertip. “I just wish I knew what the bloody hell was going on.”

 

 

Buffy was on patrol when she heard a woman screaming, coming from outside the cemetery gate. She ran with Slayer speed, but by the time she got there, the vampire was bending over the body of his victim. Buffy knew that back. Knew the hair reflecting white in the moonlight. She spun Spike’s body around, preparing to strike. She paused. “I can’t do it.”

 

Spike’s face shifted back into human form. “Buffy? What...?” He saw the stake in her hand, the body at his feet. “I didn’t. Oh, God, tell me I didn’t.” Grief washed over his face. “Tell me I didn’t.” He collapsed sobbing into the strong arms of the Slayer.

 

Buffy dropped the stake and held him. “We’ll find out what’s happening. We’ll find out.”

 

 

Thankfully, the girl wasn’t dead. Buffy called 911 on her cell phone and waited for the ambulance, then left with Spike before she was seen. “I want you to tell me everything you remember.”

 

“I felt antsy. Needed to go out. I remember leaving the apartment and...” He looked desperate. “That’s all I remember, until I saw you standing there. I swear.” He stopped in the middle of the street. “I did it, didn’t I? I’m killing again. You know what you have to do.”

 

She grabbed his arm and led him towards Xander’s. “Yeah. I have to find out what the hell is going on.”

 

 

It was a broken man who sat on Xander’s couch, his head bent, shoulders slumped in defeat. “It’s your job. It’s what you do.”

 

“Shut up.” Buffy paced around the living room. “This doesn’t make sense. You have a chip, but it doesn’t always work. You have a soul, but you kill. And you don’t remember anything.”

 

“Buffy,” Xander said softly, “If he’s a killer...”

 

“No,” she almost shouted. “It doesn’t make sense.” She stopped pacing, trying to put what little pieces of information she had together. “You come back, and you’re crazy. You see people who aren’t there. You know something about whatever’s coming, like Willow does. Like my dream. The ‘beneath you it devours’ thing. I get you out of the basement, and you seem better, but now you start going evil vamp again. And don’t remember. Am I missing anything?”

 

“Think that pretty much does it, pet,” he mumbled under his breath.

 

“Wait. Think, Buffy.” Her eyes opened wide. “The soul. You never said how you got the soul.”

 

“I don’t see how...”

 

“Just tell me.”

 

Spike recounted the tale of his trip to Africa, the cave, his trials, and the pain. His return in a cargo hold and his midnight ride back into Sunnydale on the motorcycle he left at the airport. His compulsion to visit the site of the new high school.

 

“And how did you end up living in the basement?”

 

Spike’s voice was dead. “I don’t know.”

 

“Wait.” Buffy’s eyes narrowed. “You got your soul back from some demon legend. Something about passing trials and getting your deepest wish.”

 

Spike nodded. “Thought it was what you wanted.”

 

“No, I mean, you went to some demon and he gave you back your soul. And you didn’t even know him, or really know who he was or what he did. You don’t really know anything about it.” She uncrossed her arms. “You really are an idiot, you know that Spike?” She picked up the phone and dialled. “Willow. Get back to Xander’s. And bring Anya.” She knelt beside the couch. “We. Will figure. This out.”

 

 

“Anya, what can you tell me about Spike’s soul. You said you saw it at the Bronze.”

 

Anya shrugged her shoulders. “He had a soul. I could see it right off. But before I could mention it, he decked me, so I guess it wasn’t a grade A variety.”

 

“You were going to tell,” Spike defended himself. “And I’m sorry.”

 

Buffy turned to her best friend. “Willow. You know something about souls. You did the spell to restore Angel’s.”

 

“Well,” Willow replied, “technically that was a curse. But I did do research.”

 

“Is there any way of knowing if the soul is okay? If there’s something wonky about it?”

 

“Wonky.” Willow frowned. “Let me think.” She smiled. “I remember a spell to tell how healthy the soul is. Sort of like if it’s moral compassing the way it should.”

 

“How complicated is it? Do you need supplies?”

 

“Yeah, Will,” Xander said. “Unless it runs on week old pizza and beer, don’t think I can help you out tonight.”

 

“I don’t need supplies.” Willow stood in front of Spike. “This won’t hurt.”

 

“Just do it,” he responded.

 

She instructed the others to make a circle around Spike, and they took each other’s hands. “Oh, mighty Ra, hear my plea,” she chanted. “Grant this boon and to us reveal the ba, the ab, the soul of his man. Let it be, let it shine, in its light be naught concealed.” As she chanted, light started to stream from Spike’s eyes. Pale blue at first, it shifted to purple, then red. As it streamed forth, he started to scream. “Stop!” Willow shouted, breaking contact with Xander and Anya. As all dropped their hands, the light receded, and Spike slumped forward in the chair.

 

“You said it wouldn’t hurt,” Buffy said angrily, as she tended to the unconscious vampire.

 

“It shouldn’t have. I don’t know...”

 

“Did you see that?” Anya smiled. “That explains it all, doesn’t it.” When the others stared at her, she continued. “The colours. His soul, and the other thing. The evil thing. Denoted by red.”

 

“What are you talking about, Anya?” Willow asked impatiently. “There’s nothing in the spell about that. Healthy souls glow blue, unhealthy ones yellow. Nothing about red.”

 

“Oh, that wasn’t a soul, though.” Anya spoke to the others like ignorant schoolchildren. “He has a soul. But with it he has a rider. Like a parasite. It controls him.”

 

“So how do we get it out?” Buffy asked, helping the now awakening Spike to the couch.

 

“We don’t,” Anya replied. “Not without removing the soul, I mean. It’s infected. Tainted.”

 

“No,” Spike said quietly. “I worked hard for that soul. Better to stake me then make me what I was.”

 

“Well, you were cheated,” Anya said in a matter of fact way. “You should ask for you money back. Not that you paid money. But I do object to not getting fair goods for fair purchase.”

 

Buffy took Spike’s hand. “I know why you did what you did. I know better than anyone. But this thing inside you, it hurts people. Kills. At least without the soul you’ll still have the chip.”

 

“And I could still hurt you.”

 

“And you won’t. Not again.” She sat beside him on the couch. “I know you won’t.”

 

“I’ll be evil again.”

 

Buffy sighed. “Maybe, not so much. Just don’t ask me to stake you. I won’t.” She looked up at her friend. “Willow, can you do it? Get it out?”

 

“I don’t know.” Willow pulled a book out of her knapsack. “I never had to get a soul out of a vampire before.”

 

“Wait a minute,” Xander was getting angry. “Am I the only one thinking Re-eviling the dead is a bad idea? Isn’t there some other way?”

 

“What else can we do?” Buffy asked, her eyes heavy with pain.

 

Xander threw up his hands. “All right. But you’re putting a lot of faith in that chip.”

 

Buffy held Spike’s hand. “Not just the chip.”

 

“Wait.” Willow pointed to a paragraph in the book. “He could sell it.”

 

Anya perked up. “I like that idea.”

 

“I am not selling my soul to Satan,” Spike affirmed.

 

“No, not Satan,” Willow replied. “Gee, you guys watch too many movies. Sell it to a soul eater. They don’t care if it’s a little tainted. They’ll eat anything.”

 

 

The group watched the dark, batwinged creature as it flew out the window. “I still think I should have killed it,” Buffy said.

 

“I told you, they don’t take souls. With humans, only what’s offered voluntarily. Mostly just animal spirits.” Willow looked at Spike’s inert form. “Do you think he’s okay?”

 

Xander held fast to the stake in his hand. “We’ll see, I guess.”

 

Buffy sat beside the couch, Spike’s hand in hers. “Please wake up. Please be okay.”

 

Xander looked at his friend with disapproval. “Why do you care so much, Buffy?”

 

“Well, duh. I’m in love with him.”

 

Anya nodded sagely. “I was pretty sure.” She held out her hand. “Willow, you owe me ten dollars.”

 

Xander looked at the wood in his hand. “Maybe I’ll just stake myself.”

 

Spike opened his eyes and moaned. “What the bloody hell? Where...What...?” He groaned. “I remember.” He tried to sit up, and Buffy helped him. “It’s gone, isn’t it? I feel it.”

 

“You feel what? Empty? Evil?”

 

He smiled at Buffy. “Some of the first. And less of the second, actually.” His face grew serious. “I would have killed you. ‘From beneath you it devours.’ It was in control of me. I would have killed you all, helped it suck the world into the Hellmouth.”

 

Xander held the stake behind his back. “One more test. Attack me.”

 

“Usually I’d be thrilled, Harris, but not really in the mood. Soul just sucked out ‘n all.”

 

“I erased all your Passions tapes. And Coronation Street.”

 

Spike jumped up from the couch and lunged at Xander, then fell back screaming in pain. “Sodding chip!”

 

Xander dropped the stake on the coffee table. “Same old, same old, I guess.”

 

“Yeah,” Spike answered, holding the side of his head. “But at least now I can help you against that thing.” He turned to Buffy. “It’s gonna be bad, love.” He looked at the assembled group. “Well, guess I’d better find new digs. Back to crypt hunting, I suppose.”

 

“Why?” Xander asked. “Do I snore?”

 

“Well, yeah.” It stuck him that he hadn’t been asked to leave. “You want me to stay.”

 

“There’s ground rules. No smoking. No stealing my beer. Pick up your towels.” He thought a moment. “And if I bring a girl home, you stay in your closet.”

 

“Like that’s gonna happen,” Spike snorted. “And this doesn’t make me a Scoobie.”

 

“Of course not,” Willow winked. “Job well done. Anyone want to head to the Bronze?”

 

“Me,” Anya answered.

 

“Me too,” added Xander.

 

Buffy took Spike’s arm. “Me three and four.”

 

Spike looked at his arm in shock. “Slayer. What are you doing?”

 

“I going to the Bronze with my friends.” She smiled up at him. “We’ll see how this soulless thing works out. Then I might have a few things I want to tell you.”

 

As they exited into the night, Buffy said, “Dawn’s really going to be pissed.”

 

“Well, yeah. She didn’t even like me with the soul.”

 

“Naw. She’s a teenager. She’ll deal with that.” The five made their way down the street. “She’ll be mad we went to the Bronze without her.”


End file.
